Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I understand how hurricane paths work

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

Mya Lesnar, daughter to WWE legend Brock Lesnar, wins national title in shot put - ESPN

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

How can a man clean his Soul?

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

What is the sum of X+XX+XXX+XXXX?

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

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I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I have a reading level above third grade

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

WWE-AAA Crossover Worlds Collide Becomes Company’s Most-Watched Live YouTube Broadcast Ever (EXCLUSIVE) - Variety

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I know who the president of Turkey really is

Dave Chappelle and Mo Amer on Politics and Comedy, SNL Monologues - Variety

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I can count

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

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I actually pay taxes

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

American Airlines plane diverted because it was too big to land at airport - WKRC

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

How did Nickelback gain a large fan base despite criticism of their music?

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I don’t buy bullshit

I can read

Brewers Rookie Pitcher Makes History That Baseball Hasn’t Seen in More Than a Century - Sports Illustrated

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

Is there any evidence to support the claims that mouth taping can help with breathing?

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

Earth's energy balance is rising much faster than scientists predicted, and we have no idea why - Live Science

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I see through liars

I have complete contempt for fakery

What's one common challenge software engineers face, no matter what kind of tech company they work for?

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I don’t cotton to rapists

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”